An Elegy Bemoaned

“Written on a paper in black ink
Read all who may.
Pray and raise a toast, a drink,
My elegy it is, such I Portray”

******* *******

Ma, I heard your voice
And you calling me loud
Now I don’t have any choice
For you are under your shroud


What you said was right
I could never gauge it then
With you I kicked a fight
When I ran away to learn one-to-ten


“Nobody is going to be yours
When I’m gone my child”
Now when my plight soars
I know every grain of your thought Ma’ was beyond mild


Under the frozen stars I lay on my bed
Waiting to be scavenged anytime; he would say
“Wife you are mine in this locked-wed
Pretend before this world that you are fine, come let’s play”


Morning he goes for work
Leaving me to blemish my woes in a corner
I count the seconds to wait for the serpent to lurk
Returning me favors by giving me the fur


Too many chances but I lost each time
I was fifteen when I first bore a child
Within days of bliss I tasted the lime
I was tamed thereafter like an animal wild


I remember your words Ma’ your kisses and hugs
Pull me out Ma’ before I drown
In the streets ma’ perennial with threats of thugs
I pray each Day to swallow the Nightly frown

Finally in my death-tray today
I have no-one to hear my coffined moans
I’m giving back this life what I never got per say
A debt I have to re-pay; the scars form this life I got on loan

Dreams

I want to become an Author.

queer fishing of my thoughts... !

Hail My Dreams...!

....

Rise and fall...

fall and rise...

these slippery roads

made me a victim of my bliss....

Amen...

On a Serios Thought...

"Life is a flash between birth and death"

there are days when each one of us is at the sprightliest best which are equated well with the days that are low like the hell depths.

i am no exception.

Isnt life a habit for each one of us??? we get up ... yawn...get on with the daily chores..skimm through newspapers...eat..work/study...get back from school or college or office...get back to the normal schedule and hah ... we call it a day...!

one day gone.. second and then suddenly you realise that shit..20 years have gone by (its about me).

family ...and friends ...and the special ones... everyone is there but you still feel for that one second .. that you are amidst the jungle of your heart with you and you alone. Nah this doesn't mean you are Schizophrenic or something.

its a mere bifurcation of your tiny self...! communicate and relax... and breath... !

i try to do it often... move around when immensely restless . after sometime get to the normal self and then again breathless.

waiting for the day to be sane... in this crabby world...

woof... woof... duh .. my concentration has dipped again... thanks to my neighbours dog.

duh but yes .. My search is still on...I am waiting o quench the thirst of the bouncing heart...

PS:

Live every moment of life... and smile...!

sniff sniff...!

"Thoughts fade away"

Grin Grin

signs off!

A long tiring tedious first day at work and with a puppy face I get back home.

The only person who does realize this is her. Se got food for me... Asked me how my day was and heard me jabber throughout telling her how this corporate world is … backbiting… sweet gestures and A-Z of it all!

She never got tired. Smiled and said…”its okay …its just the beginning …you’ll get used to it…”

Next morning….woke up early… made quick breakfast… still confused whether I should take “ladyfinger or bitter gourd” … came to me and asked... “What is it that you want to eat for lunch?”

I said…: Ladyfinger... (She knows it’s my besteset ever freaky food)

She smiled and went away doing the usual chores.

Gleefully I leave for work…

Evening … “my nose-pin was missing”

Everybody at home shared evening pleasantries… but that was her again this time.. saying where is your nose-pin…and I wasn’t an ounce amused…

That woman is my mother…!

So much I love her despite blown out fights and screams…!

I love you ma!

More than many ... times !

There are times when nothing seems right
And I persuade myself to see the bright light,
But nothing in this world can clear this mist
And I begin to write with a tight fist

There are times when I want to talk
And that’s when I decide to pitch in for a walk
But everything on this mighty earth resembles dirt
And I begin to drown in the puddle and yes it hurts

There are times when nothing sounds like honey
And I long to create a symphony
But nothing matches the tune
And I begin to make castles similar to sand-dune

There are times when I want to smell the mud
And that’s when I pray in vain and hear a thud
But everything sizzles mockingly in mirth
And I begin to provide a spark to the dying hearth

There are times and I have seen more than many
When blisters in the sun seem uncanny
But round the bush along the street
There aren’t people you want to call your own... whoever you meet.

There are times and times there are…
There are times and times there are…

Above Average

Above average:

Without doubt it is dedicated to all the toppers who feel that they’ve bought the world with their screwed up intelligence and presume that the world cant do without them … the fake attitude is a synonym for them and life an antonym!

Three cheers for the above average who live life and let others too ! atleast they don’t live in a misconception of the world spinning on their tunes!

So here goes this dedication

~~~

To the topper,

Yes, I am talking to you

You right there
Standing so insecure

How I pity you
For you think the world will fall for you?

Do you know we talk about your daily woes?
Which bother you day and night, yeah your foes!

There, you are, standing tall…
Thinking of when you might fall
You leap
Sweep
Stumble
And mumble
In between there’s a strand of marks
And you run after them as if you made the ocean and you are the shark

Hussshhh! Hussssssh!
This phrase is your priceless key
You’ll fall if I tear off your jealousy
May be even your pretension
That you do nothing but remain in a solemn den!

We are the bunch of above average
We care not if you eat cabbage
All we worry about is the mask you wear
Because in the end you’ll lose out and call life unfair…

Let me warn you, and tell you all
Those who know they are just an inch away from the fall
In the end, these marks can’t buy you a penny
So watch out, before you get obsessed with your own testimony

We are the bunch of above average
We care not if you eat cabbage
All we worry about is the mask you wear
Because in the end you’ll lose out and call life unfair…

With love
The fraternity of the above average !

;)

yes evil is my second name : ;) !

teaser

Winter time and I hug my coffee mug
To grab the warmth and tease it with a shrug.
The same that knocked the sun out
With the shiver that came with a hungry slight pout,
It dared to sprinkle
And hum a jingle
And stumbled right across, to make me speak.
Darn it, it did succeed.

Good morning
;)

Pity-worthy : Human heart

was reading the newspaper early morning.

It couldn't have been more depressing ... Bull-shit ... more of rapes and murders and juvenile crimes.

can someone put a fullstop to this rust thats making everyone so hollow.

i end up with the same thought each time i read any column.. whether it is :"5 year girl raped" or "senior citizens brutally murdered". rather is hould put it this way : i don even need to look at these headers, it is heart scorching without it too.

theres so much to ruminate about but ruminate without action...makes me helpless...

next might be your chance or somebody you know .. or the stranger you saw crossing the street . phew .. fragile life ...

i pity the human heart, desires @ cost of others happiness, devious lust.

Far Beyond Mend

This poem bears no resemblance to anyone dead or alive ... mere product of fictitious thought !

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Far Beyond Mend


Prologue:

should i tell him today?
or let it be till next May.
maybe puke it all for his sake
and steal the warmth with bundles of snow flakes

****************************

Its been long, i come to tell thee
been hiding the curtain, guilt-free
but yesterday, i learn its too unfair
to lend you hopes and cushion of my care

with all the charm i won your eye
and giggled throughout minus a sigh
you drunk all moments of immense toil
when the girl in me you thought, was more than loyal

i am the same, but i am to blame
its not a matter of love neither of shame
this road which is ought to bend
ah ! i know today ill lose a friend

would you want that too?
or want further cues
to curse my fate
for i raised the veil too late??


****************************

epilog

ue:

I was in love, and i love Him still
he is my life and forever will be
know that, i kept it hidden
for you were just a friend , and i pray you forget it within the count of ten.

****************************

20th March '08

The wounds that don’t Sell...

It was love at first sight
This is what we all say...am I right???
So much you jingle the bell...
But who knows that the fate would be so hard to tell

I was once a kid in this whole affair
Clinging onto the cliff I did dare
But how would I know I would be stabbed
Into the spring of a muddle would I be grabbed…

Should I grumble for the pain I smell?
Or rattle for the wounds that don’t sell
I abstain from re-living the blues
For I can’t no more let you take over my life’s hues

Whenever I walk on the wet floor
You wouldn’t know if it was me who shut the door
For I’m prepared to cast enough rays of grimace
To satiate what I still see on your face

I still wander through the crowded street
Hoping to greet the morning dew with my feet
I still wait for the sprinkle of shower
That’ll blow life into the withering bowers

It is a wish, nothing more than that, I swear
I’ve stripped my mind of the love I used to wear
It’s too late for I’ve drawn the fence
I’ll allow now the lemon to wound the silence

I have mopped the memories
You no more exist and cease
Not anymore, not any way near my shore
Will I let the times explore…

It was love at first sight
This is what we all say...am I right???
So much you jingle the bell
But who knows that the fate would be so hard to tell...

He shall be born soon

Another stormy night sings a lulaby
he reminscices the moment she said Good-bye
strumming the guitar strings under the willow tree
he sings "you're mine and forever shall be"

Carrying his saga in the sack
insanity rules this maniac
denying him the red, green, blue
his eyes pester him to shed a tear or two

Drunk with the strength she gave
he's no less than a slave
praying that the heavens may rain
he weeps alongside to hide his pain

He's drowned in the flood
his corpse washed in mud
only the clouds moan
for he has noone whom he calls his own

Another stormy night shall come
another song the love-struck shall hum
to tell u whether his love was a bane or a boon
he shall be born very soon

A Silent War

Banging the head against the wall
they think i'm having a ball
little do they know of the silent war
of which i have the KeYs in my drawer

Haunting words of hollow praise
that sets my yearning ablaze
flames n blames, a sparkling game t
hey still move about, minus the shame

Scavenging the contradiction of my mind
drumbeats i hear which makes me blind
fluorescent in their fantasy
they hunt for triumph, that ecstacy

Grounded to the threshold
my search for HOrizon makes me bold
wired garlands they prepare
yet i dare to challenge their flare

Tagging me a rebel, crowning me a traitor
Submissiveness is not what i cater
tinkling sounds of the wind-chime
my WORLD remains sublime

a War that settles for liberation
yet no heir to the throne for accession
illusion ed by the manipulative mind
agitativen self-reflexive..i'm ready to unwind

A Journey from allusion to self-awareness..
it's a fumble and not a mess
tempted mind wages a WAR
of which i hold the keys in my drawer..

fateful ransom....

I poke my veins pretty hard
And allow the others to play the cars
Will I win or will I not
I don’t care for I don’t believe in jack-pot

You rattle and hiss and gamble along
Was the blind-fold worn for too long?
Misery knocked me down
When truth bungeed with a notorious frown.

Let’s hold it, say not for a minute now.
Don’t even ask what, when and how.
For you know, you’ve wandered for a while now
Without knowing that you dug my grave, so sound

I know not my love, you could scavenge
Neither do I ask you if it was any revenge
But I regret for you having me on the bedroom wall
When you crippled me, leaving me behind, unable to crawl

Into the darkness of my own world
I wish nothing so lame to unfurl.
Good-by too late,
For this ransom of yours sealed the fate.

I wake up right from the wrong side
and look up to the hazel sky
Had my pet not soiled my quilty ride
I could have caught two more bugs that passed by

I plunge onto the muddy roads
To bridle my flimsy whims
And there I dip into the summer mode
And blissfully tire my limbs

And here i open my wings and soar high,
beneath the shadow of the roof for the sky,
Inch by Inch, as i continue to fly
I flipped my ground in one try

With a drowsy droopy head
I forego my mug of beer
To run for the nuts instead
And caress the oblivion so near

To top it all I begin to crawl
And babble like a child
Wearing the mysterious look I enter the hall
For sure only to roar as if in the wild

In the bliss of ignorance
I shun what you recommend
Because ill slip into my shell for once
And not let the roof for the sky bend

Nothing can lend me solace
But the arms of the mighty oceans
On the sands of time will I leave no trace
For there are too many who are ready to mourn

Had enough of my habitual anecdote
That incessantly numbs my soul
I can no longer let the residue float
To dig a grave in the name of a hole

To melt the ice I’ve shed my tears
Allowed then even to multiply
But the blindfolded mouths and the ears
Never answer the why’s…