Splash

I am so much not myself these days. You know it’s a weird feeling. Its as if my brain is growing out of my head. It’s as if the veins are spilling blood all around…its like theres no room for any thing.

Very unlike me to have thrown away the phone in some other room when you know that this girl keeps her phone handy and replies or responds to either calls or sms’s within a fraction of a second. Yeh. I did that and have done it for over last two weekends.

May be all this while I was not me…

I know I will be somehow fine because the head is where the heart is.

An Elegy Bemoaned

“Written on a paper in black ink
Read all who may.
Pray and raise a toast, a drink,
My elegy it is, such I Portray”

******* *******

Ma, I heard your voice
And you calling me loud
Now I don’t have any choice
For you are under your shroud


What you said was right
I could never gauge it then
With you I kicked a fight
When I ran away to learn one-to-ten


“Nobody is going to be yours
When I’m gone my child”
Now when my plight soars
I know every grain of your thought Ma’ was beyond mild


Under the frozen stars I lay on my bed
Waiting to be scavenged anytime; he would say
“Wife you are mine in this locked-wed
Pretend before this world that you are fine, come let’s play”


Morning he goes for work
Leaving me to blemish my woes in a corner
I count the seconds to wait for the serpent to lurk
Returning me favors by giving me the fur


Too many chances but I lost each time
I was fifteen when I first bore a child
Within days of bliss I tasted the lime
I was tamed thereafter like an animal wild


I remember your words Ma’ your kisses and hugs
Pull me out Ma’ before I drown
In the streets ma’ perennial with threats of thugs
I pray each Day to swallow the Nightly frown

Finally in my death-tray today
I have no-one to hear my coffined moans
I’m giving back this life what I never got per say
A debt I have to re-pay; the scars form this life I got on loan

Dreams

I want to become an Author.

queer fishing of my thoughts... !

Hail My Dreams...!

....

Rise and fall...

fall and rise...

these slippery roads

made me a victim of my bliss....

Amen...

On a Serios Thought...

"Life is a flash between birth and death"

there are days when each one of us is at the sprightliest best which are equated well with the days that are low like the hell depths.

i am no exception.

Isnt life a habit for each one of us??? we get up ... yawn...get on with the daily chores..skimm through newspapers...eat..work/study...get back from school or college or office...get back to the normal schedule and hah ... we call it a day...!

one day gone.. second and then suddenly you realise that shit..20 years have gone by (its about me).

family ...and friends ...and the special ones... everyone is there but you still feel for that one second .. that you are amidst the jungle of your heart with you and you alone. Nah this doesn't mean you are Schizophrenic or something.

its a mere bifurcation of your tiny self...! communicate and relax... and breath... !

i try to do it often... move around when immensely restless . after sometime get to the normal self and then again breathless.

waiting for the day to be sane... in this crabby world...

woof... woof... duh .. my concentration has dipped again... thanks to my neighbours dog.

duh but yes .. My search is still on...I am waiting o quench the thirst of the bouncing heart...

PS:

Live every moment of life... and smile...!

sniff sniff...!

"Thoughts fade away"

Grin Grin

signs off!

A long tiring tedious first day at work and with a puppy face I get back home.

The only person who does realize this is her. Se got food for me... Asked me how my day was and heard me jabber throughout telling her how this corporate world is … backbiting… sweet gestures and A-Z of it all!

She never got tired. Smiled and said…”its okay …its just the beginning …you’ll get used to it…”

Next morning….woke up early… made quick breakfast… still confused whether I should take “ladyfinger or bitter gourd” … came to me and asked... “What is it that you want to eat for lunch?”

I said…: Ladyfinger... (She knows it’s my besteset ever freaky food)

She smiled and went away doing the usual chores.

Gleefully I leave for work…

Evening … “my nose-pin was missing”

Everybody at home shared evening pleasantries… but that was her again this time.. saying where is your nose-pin…and I wasn’t an ounce amused…

That woman is my mother…!

So much I love her despite blown out fights and screams…!

I love you ma!

More than many ... times !

There are times when nothing seems right
And I persuade myself to see the bright light,
But nothing in this world can clear this mist
And I begin to write with a tight fist

There are times when I want to talk
And that’s when I decide to pitch in for a walk
But everything on this mighty earth resembles dirt
And I begin to drown in the puddle and yes it hurts

There are times when nothing sounds like honey
And I long to create a symphony
But nothing matches the tune
And I begin to make castles similar to sand-dune

There are times when I want to smell the mud
And that’s when I pray in vain and hear a thud
But everything sizzles mockingly in mirth
And I begin to provide a spark to the dying hearth

There are times and I have seen more than many
When blisters in the sun seem uncanny
But round the bush along the street
There aren’t people you want to call your own... whoever you meet.

There are times and times there are…
There are times and times there are…