What would you be –?

What if you lose all –?
Sight, speech, sugar, sun.
Just anyone. Just anything.

Someone you thought you can hold onto but can't reach them.
Someone who can see you but you can't. Why? Off course you're blind
Someone who could hear you can't. Can you hear. You're deaf.
Some who you could lend a kiss to but don't have money.
Just THAT someone, just THAT you thought was another one. In a stack of hay?

What would you be –?
An object, a subject of study.
A rag doll, goat eyed G-i-joe.

Coffined

I built myself a coffin some years ago
And had kept nails and hammer in a drawer.
I told just one person this secret.
Oh and he,
He dug my grave quietly with his aids.
Nailed me down, pinned me up.
He killed me with a kiss and ate me slow.

Look at me you all. I’m bleeding
Filling that bowl with my dark red.
He told me once it smelt good. My sweat.  A bliss.
Today as he licks it – sweat and blood – he shows no remorse.
Murderer and rapist of my emotions, I swear.
He didn’t even leave one bone of me, for myself.
Yes, he killed me with a kiss and ate me slow.

I knew it would come. But I deceived my heart into it.
I kept his adrenalin rushing.
Why? No. That’s a silly question.
I’ll still try answering – That sweet poison called love.
He intoxicated me. And, I sold my soul to this devil, love.
At times he cushioned my back and most of the times he bargained.
True, I hold this thought close to me now – He killed me with a kiss and ate me slow.


19.03.2011

Burning Down to Ashes

I’ll burn down to ashes,
Blend of soil, skin, blood and bones.
Perhaps, you know you can’t make love to them,
Listen – don’t even try.
You can contain me in a vessel,
It could be earthen or steel.
Try conjuring me in your thoughts;
My nails, my breast, my spine, my love handles. Just every bit of me.
But, I’ll burn down to ashes,
One day. Yes some day. Then, I’ll be insanely cold.

I’ll crawl in your thoughts,
You know how a toddler would, right?
My fingers you’ll try to hold.
They won’t grow back, but. Don’t you already know?
Smear colours on my face. Mascara, lipstick and kohl.
And, plant one wet kiss on my lips, ears and my toes.
Fondle me with your paint brush fingers.
Tickle me, hug me, and wrestle me.
I promise. I’ll crawl in your thoughts,
You know how a toddler would, right?

I’ll sit and stand if you say,
You know how disciplined I am?
Your white wine and brot won’t work on me,
I won’t feed on them, any longer.
But fold me, my arms and tender thighs. Mould me, roll me on satin sheets.
Aye, don’t leave me alone.
Stick your tongue out,
Let your love salivate.
I’ll stand and sit if you say so,
You know how disciplined I am.

But wait. Do you believe all I said just now?
Do you conceive what I read to you right now?
I’ll crawl, I’ll, sit and stand today.
Tomorrow I’ll burn down into ashes,
Swept away.

I repeat.

I’ll crawl, I’ll, sit and stand today.
And I’ll burn down to ashes,
Swept away.

16.03.2011
Written against the tick-tock of violent clock.